You have yet to seen hell...

Until you step into a 189 at 7 f@*$ing thirty in the morning.

I swear, it's like the government is trying to weed out the small and puny ones in preparation of a perfect Fascist nation.

I'm serious. Anyone below 1.30m was in danger of being sucked into the crowd.

Subconscious: Fear the crowd. FEAR IT.

Yea, I think they got the point.

Anyway, I was standing as usual, because I'm kind enough to let others have the privelledge of a seat.

That, or I was too lazy to sit. I know, I am the epitome of laziness.

I thought it was going to be a quiet morning. Then I remembered the day.

Oh. My. God. It was a Tuesday. A weekday.

A WORKING day.

The bus stopped outside the market and my worst fear came through.

Logic: Was it-

Violence: *Shoving pistol into Logic's mouth* shhh...This is going to be good.

A flood of people surged through the door. It was like the Flood in Halo, only more in numbers.

If I had a shotgun, I would have opened fire immediately.

But I didn't. Phooey.

Violence: Man, if you'd asked, you could have had mine.

Damn.

Violence: What a perfectly good waste of death and destruction.

I know. I know.

MRTs are another one.

The only time you'll get a seat is either:

a) You actually go to the depot at 5 am and wait until the doors open
b) You're pregnant
c) You're above 70
d) You're someone that looks above 70
e) You're lucky enough to snatch a seat when someone stands up to leave
f) You're dying.
g) You're dead.

Okay, maybe not (f)

The train cars are like a moving cesspool of Carbon Dioxide. So many people breathing out.

Hell, if they dropped a whole MRT on a country, you could say that was the worlds first carbon dioxide bomb.

Violence: Let's do that!

Subconscious: Let's don't.

Logic: And say we didn't hear anything.

I hate public transport, not because I'm a spoilt little bastard, but because of the word public.

I actually have to be in contact with people.

I don't do that.

Heck, if they took away the damn word 'public', I wouldn't have anything to complain about.

Ah well, enough bitching.

Did I mention how much I hate hallmark holidays?

Holidays like Valentines Day, Christmas, Mothers Day, etc, etc?

I heard rumors that Christmas used to be a religious thing before Hallmark took over.

Also, was Valentines day ever about something other than the candy and the gifts?

Hallmark is ruining holidays by commercializing them. They could have stopped at Valentines day, but oh no. They had to go on.

Damn, they could take Valentines day, I don't give a shit. But taking Christmas...? That's a step too far. I'm no fan of God, but you don't go around taking a Holiday, slapping them on a card and selling them for profit.

Heck, all Christmas cards should be hand made, not bought.

Then again, someone could give you literal crap on Christmas and say 'It's the thought that counts'

A gun may or may not have been involved.

At least there's still days not hallmark-ized. VIVA LA REVOLUTION!

Subconscious: Okay, now let's all grow long beards, get a gun, and we can go take over the country!

Violence: Aw man, a beard? We'll look like terrorists.

Logic: Wasn't that what you wanted to be?

Violence: Well...No. I wanted to be a legalized terrorist!

Logic: ...

Subconscious: ...

Violence: What!?

Logic: Those are called soldiers, mate.

Violence: Ah, I see. Do I have to get a beard?

Logic: No. Maybe. Dunno.

Okeeeeaaaaayyy....Anyhoo...

I'm waging war against stereotypes.

Violence: Did you say war?

Logic: Shit.

...I shouldna said that.

Logic: Ya think!?

...Oops.

Violence: WARWARWARWARWARWAR-

Got him with the tranq. Have fun.

Anyway, the one stereotype I'm waging war on now is the 'all IT people are fat, weak losers with no girlfriend and life.'

Let's break it down.

Last I checked, not every IT person was fat. We're not overweight, except a few.

So we have: 'All IT people are weak losers with no girlfriend and life.'

We're getting somewhere.

Okay, not sure whether you got into a fight with an IT tech before, but some can really dish out some damage. Take into account that some work out.

Now we have: 'All IT people are losers with no girlfriend and life.'

Now, most IT people are rich. *CoughbillgatesandstevejobsCough*

And the Gamers are in the Major league.

Yup, definitely losers.

'All IT people have no girlfriend and life'

Okay, so you're saying that all female IT people are lesbian?

That's bloody discriminatory. Some are, but I'm confident there are some that are not. And some IT's have girlfriends. Did you bother asking everyone?

'All IT people have no life.'

We are alive, right?

Ergo, we have life in us.

We also have a life outside computers, contrary to popular belief.

So now, we're left with:

'IT people'

Last I checked, we don't have a CPU wired to our brains.

Now we have:

'People'

See? It works. Of course, it you want to be a douche...

'All IT people are possibly fat, possible losers, may be weak, may or may not have girlfriends/boyfriends, and might not have a life. Also, they do not have a CPU wired to their brain.'

That describes just about everyone on Earth.

I win.

~CSF

Emo: *Knocking on coffin* LET ME OUT! I'M SCARED! *Pause* OH GOD! THERE'S WORMS! LET ME OUT!!!!! *Pause* OH NO! WHY IS IT MOVING! STOP! PLEASE!

*Pushes coffin over cliff*

Subconscious: Hoo yea.