SchizoMania

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Leave it at that

So I wasn't here for six days.

I'm a slacker. Damn you for disagreeing.

Anyway, here's a lowdown on what happened over the six days I wasn't here.

CNY struck back with a vengeance. It was determined to make me happy no matter what, and guess what? It failed. I take it happiness is still taken care of?

Emo: Yessir, he's still....*looks around* busy with....*Tugs collar* something...

You still fail at that Mafia/gangster thing.

Anyway, had 'reunion' dinner with my family.

Lol. Reunion? When you live like a few kilometers away from each other and can easily reach each other's places by bus in minutes, it's hardly a reunion.

Now, if you live in Arizona and I'm in...Uganda, that's a different thing altogether.

But why call it Reunion dinner? Why not 'let's all get together and eat shit loads!!!1111!!!!'?

And on Saturday...Had Tuition and TaeKwondo, nothing new there.

Sunday. Had no tuition, so had to go for a second dinner (Don't ask me why). >< That freaking sucked. Let me show you the final breakdown:

$600+, hardly filled me, sat there for 4 freaking hours.

Now, if we had listened to my suggestion and went somewhere cheaper, like KFC, Macs, or just STAYED HOME,

$0 - 30, me very full, and little waiting time.

But nooo....The little voice of reason was ignored once more.

Anyway, Monday - Tuesday were similar, involved staying home a whole lot and stuff.

Today school started, was okay, managed to complete my PoA homework, and stuff.....................

And now I ran out of things to write.

Again.

Screw you for laughing.

Or I will unleash my roflcopter and lolcakes on you.

I mean it.

<-[K}~>

Friday, January 23, 2009

Calm before the storm

CNY is here again.

Three days of happiness for some.

Emo: I'm not part of the 'some', am I?

No, you're not.

Emo: Good. I intend to be extra emo during the next few days.

Don't. Save it for Valentines day. Then it will be even more contrasting to the love everyone is supposed to feel on that day.

Logic: Bad day?

Eeeeeeeee...Yea.

Subconscious: Why?

Dunno. felt Emo the whole day...

Logic: Did it have anything to do with-

Shut up. Before I sic insanity on you.

Logic: Shutting up now.

Good. I just feel down. Oh wait. It's because CNY is here. And everyone else is feeling happy. I'm just here to balance it out by adding some unhappiness.

Because...I don't know.

Oh, god, why have you forsaken me? Why must I have such fucked up emotions? WHY!?

Logic: I'm telling you, it's because-

That's it. Insanity, get him.

Insanity: Yeehaw!

Logic: No! Have mercy! NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Sigh...I hate this.

A lot.

In fact, a whole lot more than I think.

Logic: Look, it's just-

SHUT THE FUCK UP! And didn't I sic insanity on you?

Logic: Deus Ex Machina, dude.

Damn.

I just realise I didn't crack a single wisecrack/joke in this whole post. I shall get humor-

Ego: He's asleep

Then wittiness-

Logic: He's out

Okay, how about...Happiness?

Emo: He's been uh *Tugs collar* been....Disposed of. *Mafia look*

You fail. All of you. You all suck.

Emo: Well, we're you, so you're saying you suck.

Ego: And I'm too awesome to suck!

...Shut up.


Anyway, today, got up later than usual at like 6.25am...Rushed to eat, and get stuff ready and all that crap.

Remembered to grab my homework...For once, and even then, not all of them. Left Geog and Maths at home. ><

Got to school and slacked in the canteen, let a couple of classmates copy my chem homework...

And didn't get thanked. I might seem a bit whiny right now, but it's fact. I rarely get thanked. For fucks sake, is saying 'Thanks' after I let you copy my homework too much!? Ok, that was fucking whiny. But I had to say it. Feeling emo now, so all feelings of the NEGATIVE orientation is amplified.

Anyway, with that piece of whiny crap that 'Annoyance' came up with over and done with-

Annoyance: It was art, I tell you, art!

Yea, well, art is never appreciated until the creator is dead. So do you want to die?

Annoyance: ...

Thought so.

Chemistry....Was ok, just went through the answers to the questions in the homework. Was pretty much left alone then.

PE....The teacher wasn't here, so we had a relief. He was cool, he actually talked to Ben and me about Ben's communist views(Which are, btw, awesome) And I think he agreed, LOL.

Geography...Pushed my table to one side of the class, wanted to be left alone for a while, hung out around the class, wrote random crap on the white board. Mr Choo is just so awesome. He's like so slack. And....Slack is....Good.

And then I sat in front of the class with a "APPARENTLY I' INVISIBLE SIGN". And guess what? Only like 2-5 people noticed me. I MUST be invisible.

Recess....Felt Emo at it's peak. Nothing interesting there.

English...Nope

MAths....Nah, nothing.

Gah. Suddenly feel really lonely.

Logic: Strange. You didn't seem to have interacted with-

Shut it.

Logic: This-

I told you, shut up. You know? Forget it. Insanity, Ego, Subconscious, Emo, sic him.

Logic: Shyeeet.....*Runs*

Feeling very lonely right now.

Sigh...

VERY lonely.

Damn.

It sucks..

<-[K}~>

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Lolwut?

Isn't it somewhat retarded that most people only think their actions were stupid after they did them?

God should have given us better common sense.

And yea, that's it.


<-[K}~>

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Not...Again....Fuck.

EMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Emo: ...What? I'm just here cutting myself. Oh look, lost my hand.

WHY THE FUCK DID YOU REPLACE SUBCONSCIOUS THIS AFTERNOON!?

Subconscious: I took a potty break. When I came back, Emo was there. Bitch.

Emo: ...This isn't helping my situation.

YOU MADE MINE WORSE!

Emo: Chill, dude.

Shut up.


Alright, that probably explains everything. I SOMEHOW SUDDENLY felt emo this afternoon...Because of a reason I won't reveal. MUHAHAHA...

Inadequacy: Yea!

Way to ruin the evil atmosphere.

Inadequacy: Yea!

Can you say, "This is not a recording?"

Inadequacy: Yea!

I rest my case.

Anyhoo....... Yeeeeeeaaaaahhh....It sucks. At least it was physics and there wasn't a chance for me to 'accidentally' kill someone with....stuff...

I LIKE TO KILL THINGS! PHEAR ME! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....

Ooookeeeayyyy...

Anyway, felt Emo, and.....Sorry to anyone I was particularly mean to/gave the cold shoulder to when I felt that way. Sorry!

Then after school I had the sudden urge to blow something up/Kill stuff. Got home, played the guitar for a bit, then detonated a homemade bomb in the kitchen.

>>
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Nah. I settled for crushing my enemies on C&C 3: Kane's wrath. Twice. Same enemies. Sucked to be them. It somehow relieves my stress, along with tossing a paper ball into the air and catching it. Some call it childish or immature, but it's one of my quirks. It relaxes me.

So if you see me chasing after a paper ball, don't ask.


Now...

Whoever that STILL supports Edward Cullen as being hawt, smexeh, or just cool, I suggest a brain scan. Then donate it to science.

Because he is not hawt, smexeh, or cool.

But hey, who am I to judge? Go ahead and keep dreaming that someone like Edward exists, that he is out there waiting to drink your blood but won't. Maybe you'll live happily ever after and have human/vampire hybrids for kids. Then you'll die, but he won't, but hey, it's not like he will stop loving you then, eh?

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<~{K]-> Loves his sarcasm. Among other things.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

I have the capacity to...

...Be lame. Totally nerdy, and a overall fucktard. And proud of it.

Because Grif from RvB is a fucktard, and he rocks.

The nerdy bit? That's me. It's alright, I suppose.

Being Lame, now that's where I shine. Give me a '#1 Lamerdood' medal GODDAMMIT!

Anyway...

Today went for Maths Tuition. Was okay, I think. E maths was about Indices, got a bit confused due to the number of rules, but I got it in the end. Score one for me. Then learnt basic Matrix method. It's FUUUUUUUN.

Too bad my Maths teacher won't teach us Matrix. She says it's for Sec 4. So far, it's bloody easy. Only two formulas to memorise.

Then A maths, continued with Matrix, with multiplication of Matrices, then solving linear quadratic equations with Matrix method. It was easy. Then for the last few mins was on Polynomials. That was quite hard, but I just started so...

Sat there for like 3 hours. ><

Yesterday TaeKwonDo was okay....At first, had to do a split, but I wasn't that flexible. Then practiced patterns. Actually, learnt them.

Have a bad feeling about my Grading results. Think I failed. >< My pattern was passable, sparring as well, IMO, but kicking....PHAIL. Dammit.................

Weeeellll....On the plus side...I don't know.


~CSF (Panicking)

Saturday, January 10, 2009

IT SUCKS

Wait. Let me rephrase that.

ALL EMOTIONS SUCK.

Hold on, something's still missing.

LIFE SUCKS.

Hmmm...Quaint, still a bit hollow...

EVERYTHING SUCKS.

Bingo.

Yes, I still feel Emo-ish, because I think too much. Also because of Teenage disillusions.

*Insert Jaws music. Duhdunduhdunduhdun...*

You know why emotions suck? Because they let your enemies know your weakness. They find out what makes you pissed, they'll do it. They find out what makes you SMILE. They'll do the opposite.

Also, on an unrelated note, I've freaking had it with poor spelling. It makes EVERYTHING hard to read, and for *insert deity of choice here* sake, USE PARAGRAPHS! NO ONE LIKES A TEXT WALL. Spell it right, and don't use short forms or chatspeak too often, it really confuses some people, and makes things hard to read.

I STAND FOR PROPER SPELLING AND GRAMMAR. GOT A PROBLEM? Don't call.

"Welcome to CSF's house of complaints! Got a complaint? Leave it after the tone! Wait for it...Wait for it....*Beep*"

And you know? Wallowing in emotional crap is not really good. IT's only awesome because TV says so, and most of the time, TV IS WRONG! Except for documentaries, but that's a given.

IT SUCKS BECAUSE YOU FEEL LIKE CRAP.

But listening to Emo/Emo-punk/Teen Angst music helps. Especially those Us against Them ones.

Now I have to do my part in killing all free will by going to tuition

CSF Signing out


Friday, January 9, 2009

Days like these

Sigh...Another one of those days...

The one where you feel drained, where you feel depressed and down...

Why I feel this way? It's personal. Don't ask.

Sigh...Right now I just feel like blocking myself off from the world and just scream out all my problems at one go, break that bottle of feelings once and for all...

But I can't. Why?

Because I'm, well, a coward when it comes to revealing my feelings, ya know? I don't know why, either.

Sigh...Now I'm living what I find the perfect scene. Drinking something in a dark room, listening to EMo-punk music, and getting *hic* drunk on *hic* imaginary alcohol.


*Hic*

Saturday, January 3, 2009

First day of school? What first day?

Yep, first day.

Actually, that was yesterday, but what the heck.

I don't really know what was happening yesterday, cuz I was constantly falling asleep. Thanks to my brain the night before. I kept thinking the same thing over, and over, and over again.

"OHES NOES! IMGOINGTOBELATE!!!!!!!!!!"

So I didn't sleep at all. maybe 45 mins of sleep, tops.

'Woke up' at 4 am cuz I was hungry, because I was eating a late dinner that spanned till 10 pm (Thanks for nothing, heavy lunch!)...My mom wanted me to sleep early, so she took away my food. I didn't really care, until you know, I got hungry.

Slacked at the computer till...Uh...5.30am, fiddled around with me lego ship, Bionicle creations, and other lego stuff...Upgraded a fighter jet I made...

Then after that, got out, ate around three breadrolls, which is actually enough to last me till recess any day, brushed my teeth, complained about not sleeping again, threw whatever I needed into my bag, slacked till 6.50, then went to school.

Ahh...I missed walking on the path to school during the 'Blue hours'. It's really relaxing, sort of, especially if you look at the sky while walking...Just watch where you're going. Entered school for the first time in months...Then my brain shut down. Frrrzaap.

>>
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>>
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Nah, that didn't happen. I just kinda zoned out...OooooEeeeeOoooooo...Creepeh..

Thankfully not a lot of people commented on me wearing long pants-Hold on. Even if they did, I was too zoned out to realise.

That's why, kids, always take caffeine in the morning before going to school.

Class was...Ok. Teachers are Ok, I guess. Then after recess I started sleeping...zzzzz...School ended, went to WcPlaza with Thaven(sp?)...And someone whose name I don't remember. (Sorry, dude! I was fucked-out! ><) Walked around...Met Ben, then went with him to the tuition center to ask about tuition stuff...Then went home.

I got home, surfed the net a bit, then took a nap that ended abruptly when my mom screamed for me to wake up.

Couldn't sleep after that until around 3am.

Woke up at 1pm today, went to tuition at 2pm...Came back at 4. Went to TaeKwonDo at 5...

Tomorrow I'll have to be up at 6.30 at least to get ready. It's my TaeKwonDo 'exam' of sorts. If all goes well, I'll be brown belt. Yatta!

<-[K}~>

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Deux Ex Machina

School starts tomorrow...

You know? The shitty thing about life is that there's no such thing as a Deux Ex Machina. We can't just suddenly have someone save our asses or solve our problems, like what happens in movies and stories.

And that sucks. Hard.

I mean, it would be cool to suddenly have a comet slam into a car that's about to run you over followed by ten donkeys playing banjos, then the car explodes, but amazingly, no one dies because...Because they were all temporarily phased to another dimension because an Alien Weapon was misfired in deep space. And after that you walk away as if nothing's happened.

>>
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Yeeeeeaaaaah. Why can't stuff like that happen in real life!? WHY!? WHHHHYYYYY!?

Subconscious: *Ahem*

You! I thought I got rid of you!

Subconscious: Aha! You thought you got rid of me but I got away because of a conveniently placed 'Release Subconscious' button!

No!

Subconscious: Yes!

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Curse you, Deux Ex Machina!

Subconscious: But you wished it would happen in real life!

Fine. I hate it and want it.

Subconscious: You just contradicted yourself. Freak. And you're talking to your own subconscious. Freakier.

Ego: Yeah!

Shut up, ego. You're not important, and everyone thinks you're wrong.

Ego: Says you. Hey, I brought Logic along too.

...Fine. You can stay.

Subconscious: NOOOOO!!!! NOT LOGIC!

Logic: I didn't even say anything yet!

You just did. Man, you suck.

Logic: Logic dictates-

Shut up. You suck, because I say so. You're part of my psyche, ipso facto, what I say, goes. Do you comply?

Logic: Communist.

You want communist? Look for Soviet Russia. Even though it ended like ten years ago. Look for North Korea.

Logic: ...Fascist?

Nazi Germany.

Logic: ...I surrender.

Ego: What about me!?

You egotistical bastard, where were you when I needed you like 3 fucking years ago!?

Ego: Hey, I was on vacation.

Three years!?

Ego: I need a long break, what can I say?

Subconscious: ...This is getting weirder by the second. And I still hate you, Logic.

Logic: And I hate you too.

Play nice...
<<
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On second thought, go ahead and kill subconscious, Logic.

Subconscious: Oh, you think you can kill me but-

Deux Ex Machina strikes again. Curses!

Subconscious: -I'm not tangible!

Logic: Neither am I!

THEN GO AHEAD A BITCHSLAP EACH OTHER! Sheesh. You guys are morons. Thank god my brain doesn't have your work ethics.

Brain: Uh...

Oh no.

Oh fuck no.

Brain: Hey, I blame ego. *Runs*

FFS. This sucks.

<~{K]->